What My Memaw Failed to Mention

Manners Matter Everywhere

My Memaw (that grandmother moniker dripping with deep Southern culture) was my purveyor of manners and lessons in how to behave correctly. She taught me how to organize a tea for a group of 50 women and how to cut meat properly with a knife and fork. Memaw saw it as her duty to ensure I grew up as a proper Southern girl. Let’s just say she tried her best.

As someone recently based outside the U.S., I am reminded of the importance of respecting another culture and abiding by and using local, subtle proper manners. These may not have shown up in Memaw’s book of social etiquette. In Mexico, respect and social kindness are shaped by generations living harmoniously within all socio-economic communities. All.

Mexico is a culture rooted in mutual respect, often prioritizing group harmony over individual interests. Previously, while living and working in the corporate world in the U.S., I was encouraged to temper my Southern politeness with the art of personal advancement. This often manifested as self-interest rather than genuine consideration for the group. But then, that is what was subtly promoted in that culture.

In Mexico, I am learning not to communicate in bullet points. I have learned to open a conversation, email, or text with pleasant greetings, rather than diving into my question or a subject. I have learned that hugs and/or handshakes are expected. At the end of a social event, proper goodbyes can take up to 30 minutes. Connection cannot be rushed.

I have learned that everyone greets each other with a hello or good day, regardless of how many same-person encounters they have throughout the day. In Mexico, people consistently acknowledge one another, whether they are friends or strangers. They are genuinely glad to see one another. There is connection and conversation rather than rushing to the next thing. This all takes time.

May I respectfully toss aside the story that Mexicans are always late? Due to a genuine focus on others, they often spend time in conversations or transactions, which can sometimes result in a delayed arrival at the next appointment. Prioritizing personal connections is far more important than adhering to a less critical timetable. Things take as long as they take.

Embracing the values of relationships, community, and respect for one another above all else embodies good manners. Memaw was on the right track, but good manners, aligned with community values, make for a better world.